My Spiritual Journey #2: Challenges

Facing some challenges this week...
I'm afraid to go much further introducing my children to the path. I'm really unsure on how to relate to them, and from what I can tell, there's been enough inappropriate influence from former teachers and friends that I am afraid it's too late to teach them anything. I try and I get this look like I'm nuts. My oldest erupts into tears because her eight-year-old mind can't wrap itself around the idea that our family is different. Right now our home-lives are relatively unstable, and I feel that until we (again) have our own home with our own space, I cannot give my children the exposure to Wicca that I feel they deserve.
I've not written a spell in years. Last one I wrote backfired, badly. Yet again, I'm afraid to try it. Found some really beautifully written spells that obviously were given much thought, but would a list of such be an interesting read? Maybe, maybe not.
As far as the topic of divination goes, it fascinates me. I love my tarot cards, I've had them for years. That's the most experience I've had with divination.  Next project? Making a scrying mirror.
I've been taking some online courses through WSI or Witch School International (www.witchschool.com) as a sort of refresher. I have forgotten a lot of information, and I'm not entirely sure this is a path I should be taking, because for one, I don't really have the time to devote to reading and re-reading the passages. I personally think this is better if you've got time to really devote to it. I have to be able to do things at my leisure.
So, here I am, at an impasse.  Do I continue ahead and make myself go forward knowing ultimately I will be happier if I do? Do I take a few steps back, catch my breath, and re-think what I've chosen?
Until next time...